"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."
"Humor is reason gone mad."
"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason"
"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."
"Eternity is really long, especially near the end"
"A joke is a very serious thing."
"Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth."
"There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor."
"You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything,
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."
"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house."
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."